Sunday, November 27, 2005

QUARTERLY LIFE CRISIS

Mid-life crisis is a well known term (and experience I guess). Some years back I happened to read about the “quarterly-life crisis” in an email, but never thought much about it. After all, I was just out of my teens and life seemed perfect. But now that I am actually there, I am thinking, maybe that email made some sense! Here are some thoughts about life @ 25 -

Sometimes life seems perfect….things look perfectly aligned and you think “Yess, I am headed in the right direction.”

Other times you get worried and start thinking whether the future is as bright as you thought it was going to be.

You want to make it big, but at times are not sure if the thing you are chasing is a mirage.

You start realizing the shortcomings of your society, culture, city-country administration and even have some solutions ready, but….

You realize that relationships change over time and that hurts you somewhere.

You realize it is difficult to meet people and make genuine friends.

You want to achieve that work-life balance but not sure if such a thing exists.

Many times you feel that you spent too much time with your books and did not realize that you left your hobbies/interests behind.

I am pasting the contents of the email here (Author unknown).

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared. You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all. You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while winning the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

Anybody relate with this???

6 comments:

Sarit said...

This sounds terribly true :(, as if it was written for me.

But then... no crisis lasts forever, only the person who faces them well does!

Kusum Rohra said...

Akira!! Aww! i think we think so much on the same lines ... i had recently mailed another blogger about how life at 25 has suddenly started looking a lil bleak :)

Kusum Rohra said...

Oh i forgot to add, about the thing you have written about spending too much times with books ... i was recently thinking how my reading has shot up recently !!! like i said we think on the same lines

Sarit said...

hey whats up?...

I thought you were planning to write more often :)

Harshita said...

I can totally relate to this..very well put..
It's one thing to feel a certain way and its another very difficult task of voicing or penning down your thoughts in the way that u did..
Good going.

Ian [Eager Existence] said...
This comment has been removed by the author.