FACE-OFF

I just finished a book called blink by Malcolm Gladwell. It made a very interesting read. A section in the book talked about the work of two remarkable scientists who are experts at mind reading. The duo has studied human faces and facial expressions in such great depth that they are able to decipher even the most imperceptible of emotions that would flash across any face.

The scientists agree that our face indeed reflects our mind. Facial muscles can be categorized as voluntary and involuntary muscles. Voluntary muscles are the ones that are under our control. These muscles can be used to deliberately show or conceal a certain emotion/s. Involuntary muscles however are not under our control and can be tagged as muscles that “spill the beans”. In other words, no matter how hard one tries to fake an emotion via the voluntary muscles, an astute mind reader can look at the signs given off by the involuntary muscles and sense what the person truly felt.

Try and picturise what it would be like if we lost all ability to emote via our face. Our faces then would be reduced to art forms; some beautiful, some ordinary, some ugly. The expressions twinkling eyes, infectious smile, sexy pout would simply lose their meaning. We would appear like robots programmed to do tasks, except that we would still have a mind of our own. Majority of the tasks we perform require human collaboration; would we be able to collaborate without our facial expressions? How much would our mind then accomplish? No doubt, our mind would be freed of a lot of work (of mind reading) and it would probably be reduced to doing straightforward computations in such situations.

Without our facial expressions we would lose an important medium of communication. We would either have to talk or write to communicate. How cumbersome would that be? This would be advantageous in certain situations like

• You could lie without being caught.
• You could sugar coat your words when you actually wanted to frown in disgust.
• You could measure your words or even better have time to think before reacting when your temper soars.

However, for the most part it would be a bane rather than a boon.

• You would not know how to react when you break the 10pm curfew and come home to find Dad at the door.
• Lovers would not be able to fathom the love in their partner’s eyes.
• What would one do in situations when one is at a loss for words?
• How would your pet know when it is time to be a good boy?
• How would we pick on the Machiavellian’s intentions and know what to do to save our lives?

Would we be led to extinction or would we just stop evolving? I shudder at the thought. It is really hard to imagine where we would be without the functioning of these small muscles!

I close my eyes in a silent prayer and smile to myself everytime I think about this wonderful gift that God has bestowed upon us.

Interesting links

• Face n Emotion
• Emotional Self Regulation ..
• Facial Muscles Info

THE “M-WORD”

Almost every other person I meet these days questions me about the “M-word”. My answers range from genuinely updating them about the status quo to quick repartees and sarcastic remarks to awkward smile followed by “umm…well…yes..uh..” to asking them the exact same question. Of course the nature of my answer mainly depends on the person posing this question and to some extent my perception of his/her intention behind asking this question.

On days when I am in a cranky mood, I really get pissed off when somebody whom I hardly know asks me about the “M-word”. What irritates me even more is when such a person insists on an answer. Give me a break!

“So anything interesting happening in life??”

“Umm......but how come you did not find someone for yourself yet?”

“So mamma dada looking out for somebody?.....are you seeing somebody?...anything in the pipeline?”

“Heyy when are you getting married?”

“We’ve been waiting for laddoos(sweets) for a long time now......I think you are trying to be too scrutinous......I would suggest you reach a decision in another 6 months......its high time now!”

These are some of the sample questions/advice that I am subjected to.

Although I am very appreciative of our friendly, non-formal culture, I get a wee bit annoyed when people I hardly know start questioning me like that. Can’t we have a normal conversation without this discussion or is it some protocol that “every marriageable person must be questioned or coached to death about the “M-word”?

Finding a life partner is one of the most important decisions of a person’s life. With arranged marriages still a common practice in my community people going through this process have their own concerns, worries and frustrations. So friends and people why add to their pot of worries by your questions and advice?? Think about how the person might feel when you subject him/her to your volley of questions n advice or even better think how you would feel were you in his/her position and only then say what you have to say.

Well before I get into that rant n rave mode, I have an announcement to make…..(I know what you are thinking)…..here goes….Friends, relatives, colleagues, curious neighbors, I would like to announce that, I will personally inform you when I find Mr. Right. Till then happy guessing and gossiping!!

EXTREME CELEBRATION!!

My excitement and general mood of celebration during the recent Ganesh Festival was spoiled by the acts of violence and insolence during the immersion procession in Pune and other parts of the state. By now everybody has had their take on this topic and what I am going to say here might not be very different, but nonetheless I will write.

Ganesh festival has undergone a lot of changes over the years. What started out as a sincere effort to bring people together and boost the spirit of community, has now turned into an ostentatious display of money and lack of culture. (I am well aware that exceptions exist and I do appreciate the good work that they do via the medium of this festival.)

I feel that the ban on loudspeakers after 10 pm was a very good decision taken by the court. I was disturbed when I heard many people debate against this decision. People, have we forgotten to enjoy in moderation? Do we need to go to extremities to truly enjoy an event or a festival?

Most Indian cities are excellent examples of vehicular (air) and water pollution. Do we need the noise pollution and water pollution that comes with the way we are currently celebrating this festival? Can we stop making religion and rituals an issue and instead focus on the values that are at the core of these? Have we become so self-centered that we continue to celebrate even when our own countrymen are falling prey to natural disasters, injustice, poverty, lack of resources? Celebration is an inherent part of our culture; can we find ways to include all in this gala?

We celebrate to seek Ganesha’s blessings, but THINK, would He be pleased by what He sees? It is time, each of us pondered over this.

Considering the original thought behind the festival, how about

• Not extorting money from people as “vargani” (donation).
• Not squandering the donations over flashy immersion processions and other extravaganza.
• Not playing blaring music especially irrelevant songs from movies during the festival.
• Not immersing the big idols and thus help curb water pollution. The same idol could be used during the next festival. The money thus saved could be used for some worthy social cause. (We immerse our family idol in a tub at home. We buy a shadu (clay) idol and on immersion the remnants are spread among the flower beds in the garden.)
• Encouraging the revival of some cultural arts or even better arranging programs or competitions that will help the youth in some way (sports events, public speaking, vocational guidance, etc)
• Imbibing the importance of community service by conducting some programs aligned in this direction.
• Continue improving social awareness on various issues via “pandal”displays.
• Limiting a “pandal” per locality. This will prevent traffic congestion from happening at every nook and corner during the festival.

Ganapati Bappa Morya!!

MULTITASKER

She rises early in the morning, the supercomputer inside her head doing numerous time-task computations to arrive at the optimum algorithm to successfully complete the countless tasks at hand. She does not have the option of extended deadlines nor is there a possibility of having new resources allocated.

She cooks, she cleans. She sees the kids and other members off to their daily routines and if working, sprints off just in time for her train/bus. She works hard; at times she trades her docile self to that of an aggressive lioness to keep herself alive in the rat race. She nurtures, she disciplines. She indulges you and spoils you rotten and yet she is the one to set the rules. She shares your dreams and disappointments. She entertains guests and weaves a social circle about the family. She knows when you are down and also knows exactly how to cheer you up. She makes a home!

She has to play mom, wife, teacher, playmate, friend, guide….you name it, she does not need takes and re-takes. Isn’t she multitasking personified??

As a career gal myself, I have realized the innumerable responsibilities a working woman has and the fact that “there can be no excuses” if things follow a downward spiral. Recently I also saw a cartoon depicting a woman with many pairs of hands, each pair busy doing something. I am sure every working woman would love to have those extra pair of hands. Mind you I am not undermining the stay at home moms.

So why wait for Mothers Day??.....Tell her how much you appreciate what she does or even better let your actions speak your mind. Need ideas??....Take her out for dinner, let her splurge in the mall, send her flowers…..umm….oops…..something smells burnt…..Adios people! while you are at it, I managed to burn dinner that I was cooking for Mom n Daadi. The two of them are out watching a play. J