DRAINED

Ishwari was tired of answering the standard set of tactical questions, of the lofty talks of the exalted statuses, of the over-exaggeration of the seemingly normal achievements and activities, of the ridiculous expectations and mostly of the commoditization of people. She was embarrassed to bare her soul with every other person who came along as eligible. “Am I weird?” she was beginning to think. Yet, she nursed a faint flicker of hope. She knew, that someday, she would meet the man who would sweep her off her feet and then life would be beautiful. She smiled at that thought as she drifted to sleep…

NICO-TEENS

Their boyhood is slowly graduating towards manhood and there are tell-tale signs of the same both physically and behaviorally. This is the age when all external advice and goodwill is promptly warded off as voodoo. Ironically, it is often at this blind turn on the life-road that they discover cigarettes, drugs and the works. I often see a group of young boys smoking at the road-side shop on my way to work. While they fantasize about their future looking dreamily into the swirls of tobacco smoke, I despair and sigh for the young lives being wasted……

NOTES TO MYSELF

To read-write more, surf less…
To listen more, babble less…
To absorb more, be stubborn less…
To exercise more, sit less…

To be patient more, swear less…
To be open more, rigid less…
To care more, be self-absorbed less…
To love more, hurt less…

To appreciate more, criticize less…
To respect more, be insolent less…
To understand more, fight less…
To thank more, complain less…

To focus more, diverge less…
To be organized more, haphazard less…
To think-ahead more, be myopic less…
To venture more, be afraid less…

To follow these notes to my very best!

CLICHE

Komal hated this time of the year. Everybody seemed to have something exciting planned for the night and seemed over-eager to share their plans with her. She sulked at the thought of going through the annual ritual for the 30^th year of her life – Shammi Chacha and Pummi Chachi would arrive by dusk. Pummi Chachi would get carrot halwa for the party; hadn’t the birthday girl always loved it? Ma would make aaloo matar and Papa would make a trip to the baker’s for the bread. Daadi would be glued to her rocking chair watching TV; lately Daadi didn’t care much about visitors. Anju and Manju bua would come with their clichéd gift - a horrid colored suit-piece. The gift would be later given to St. Martha’s Church’s Easter charity. Post dinner, Papa would play the ‘BoneyM Hits’ LP record and they would urge Komal to dance, while they simply clapped with a wondrous-lovey look in their eyes. She was the only child in the family and how she hated that - especially on her birthday that fell on New Years Eve…..

LITTLE ANGELS

The Angels were visiting us; two, extremely adorable, lovable angels. These little angels were –

So energetic that their parents fall asleep trying to put them to sleep….

Generous enough to forgive me w/ a meek smile when I gobbled up their last chocolate chip cookie…Shrewd enough to divert the topic when I asked them to share their walkie-talkie password w/ me….

Young enough to enjoy an evening in the park or on the swing….Grown-up enough to ask me about my boyfriends…

Silly enough to believe in ghosts….Smart enough to figure out the TV channel that ran their favorite Cartoon Network, to always get a hold of my cell phone for their play, to convince me to turn on the computer for their games…

Naïve enough to believe in all my made-up stories…Smart enough to pick on my code language w/ their ma….

So peaceful when they slept…..So noisy during their waking hours that they made me blow off every few minutes….

Their presence seemed to shake our mundane life into action. I got some free lessons in anger management. Order to them, is boring, chaos, on the other hand, is a lot of fun. In the few days that I spent w/ them, I have learnt to let go. So what if somebody messes up your car radio settings; you can always re-tune. So what if there are food crumbs all over the place; cleaning isn't such a big deal. "Don’t sweat the small stuff", has been my mantra for the most of past week.

But just as these important lessons are beginning to sink in and I am getting used to the amplified decibel levels at home, they are GONE.

I am going to miss you darlings. Visit me soon!

HEART OF GOLD

San Juan Islands, WA

Songs seem to have their days....somedays you wake up w/ a song....or sometimes you run into them; just like running into an old friend in the market or someplace.....at times the songs linger on....and other times they are gone no sooner than they came.....on somedays its just one of them running in repeat mode in your head, while on others, its more like a random song playlist......a song has been playing in my head since yesterday.....don't know why!.....here it is for you....

Heart of Gold

LIFES LIKE THAT

Friday Harbor, WA

Life is interesting......Sometimes it leaves you w/ no choice and frustrates you and some other times, teases you w/ choices and confuses you.....at such times, every option seems like the right thing and one is tormented w/ trying to find the best out of all these rights......life, they say, is the result of the choices that one makes and so the process of making the right choice stresses you out........hasty decisions work best at times whereas at times the problem itself seems to disappear if one continues to sit on it......Slow is fast and fast is slow...what to do.....lifes like that!