MIND GAMES

My body had gotten into a nice rhythm. A breeze sent a heavenly waft from the citrus blooms along the running trail.

I came to the narrow sidewalk under the bridge. I disliked this patch - it was very narrow, barely wide enough for two people to walk comfortably. Many times there would be a water puddle or contents of a discarded cup lying around. This would require me to slow down and watch my step. I imagined bats lived here, in the dark corners, where light wouldn’t reach. As I passed by here, I would be concerned that a bird would send its poop on me. I disliked it even more when I would see a dog owner walk with a mean looking dog from the opposite direction. I would slow my pace as the duo approached, fearful that the dog might grab my ankle if I were running. But the dogs here are too well behaved; it would pass by without even sniffing and I would heave a sigh of relief. My breath would quicken when I would spot a hulky male coming from the other side. On such occasions, I would try to recollect some prayers, only partially meet his eyes and move away as quickly as possible, always checking my shoulder. The road under the bridge was usually busy with traffic and there wasn’t a remote possibility of anything happening. But such is my mind….

It is on this queasy patch that I saw her. I came across a chubby kid first. I wondered why he was alone without a guardian. Then at the far end of the tunnel, I saw a tall figure entering. “May be that’s his mother” I thought. But in a flash of a second I realized that she was THE 'snake girl'. I bolted…

She is fair, blonde, tall and walks gracefully. The two times that I have seen her, she was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Slung across her shoulder like a backpack was a snake, a python I think. A friend had pointed her to me when we were driving, but I didn’t see her then and it probably didn’t register.

After a few days, I was walking back home after my evening walk. I saw a girl walking towards me. From a distance it appeared like she was carrying a backpack. She was probably 20ft away when it hit me that it was a snake and not a backpack. It was more out of disgust than fear that I turned around and ran to find my friend, eager to tell her what I had just seen. I was a little excited that evening after this episode, but I laughed at myself as I recounted the incident to many. I decided I would stop, talk to her and have a good look at her snake the next time our paths crossed. I far from stopped during our 2^nd encounter, I probably ran faster than before.

Every time I am under this narrow, dimly lit bridge or approaching a blind corner, my mind turns to this girl and I worry - will she emerge?

ALONE

I sit slouched on the couch, laptop on my lap, meaninglessly surfing the internet and refreshing my email page every five minutes or so. I look back at the clock on the wall. It is 5 o’clock. On any other day, I would be outside my apartment complex waiting for you to go to the park for a walk or a run. But today is different - I ignore the clock’s toll and sink even deeper into the couch. I don’t feel like heading out; not yet. 45 minutes later I have overcome my inertia and I head out. I consider carrying my iPod along but instead take my cell phone.

I take a deep breath and start walking. I pause briefly outside your apartment, as if waiting for you to emerge – silly me! I have an idea; I call your cell phone, only to reach your voicemail. Just as I am telling myself to gear up to be alone henceforth, you call. We chat for a little bit, then, you hang up and I am alone again.

I don’t spot many familiar faces on the trail today. But when I do see one, I smile at them eagerly, hoping they stop me and ask about your absence. None does. With no one to point new flowers to, or share the excitement over spotting a new bird, or exchange notes of domesticity and satisfy the inherent girlish (or womanly) need to babble, the trail seems to stretch longer than usual. I try to focus my mind on something other than our times together.

I get back home after an hour that seemed painfully long. No extra gossip time at your apartment steps today, nor any beseeching to stop by for a cup of chai. Hmm..I’ll brew my own chai or even better, make myself some lemonade from the lemons you left for me… :)

GREEN ROOM

IT TAKES FAITH

Every year multitudes of warkaris undertake the holy trek to Pandharpur to meet their Lord; Lord Vitthal. They brave rain and shine and travel on foot in groups called Dindis. On Ashadhi Ekadashi, these warkaris and other devotees gather at Pandharpur and immerse themselves in the sea of devotion and Love of their beloved Vithoba.

The sandals of Sant Dnyaneshwar and Sant Tukaram are also carried to Pandharpur from Pune. The chariot carrying the sandals is preceeded and followed by warkaris who have assembled in Pune to make the trek to Pandharpur. Some devotees esp. those residing in cities take up only a part of the trek. Others like my uncle, contribute by providing food or some other essential item to the warkaris.

I was drawn at the opportunity to experience the atmosphere of the wari this year around. The experience was beyond words - Emotional, philosophical and energizing. We were stationed at a spot before Saswad and for the 4-5 hrs that we were there, the flow of the warkaris seemed to never end. Their walk had a rhythm. Most of them sang bhajans as they made their way ahead while the rest just kept moving to an internal soulful rhythm. Amongst the traditionally clad men and women, I spotted the jeans clad youth and also noticed the occasional urban warkaris; sneakers-backpacks-sunglasses et.al!

While I had discounted this sect so far, the experience led me to see them in a new light. Here were men and women with an undying faith and a sole mission; to meet their Vithoba. Every true warkari abstains from meat, liquor and other vices. Moreover, in this world of insatiable wants, restlessness and insecurity...they came across as happy people, totally at peace with life...

I fall short of words to express my feelings for the day..and I am only too glad to have taken time off for experiencing the wari atmosphere..I think the warkaris rubbed off some of their faith, belief and peace into me...

Here are some snapshots taken during the day..

The chariot carrying St. Dnyaneshwar's paduka (sandals)

A Dindi making its way

Catch 'em early...catch them young!

Everyone wanted to be in my picture frame!

This Warkari sure likes to stay connected

THE HAPPY MAN

If only this happy man's shirt could help those ailing from unhappiness...Here are some of my favorite quotes about happiness....

• If we only wanted to be happy, it would be easy. But we want to be happier than other people...and that's the hitch.
• People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
• Now and then, its a good idea to stop in our pursuit of happiness, and just be happy.
• There is no way to happiness...happiness is the way.

CHINNU

With her smooth dusky skin and thick shiny black hair, she looks like any other Indian girl. At a little over 5 feet and slightly built Chinnu (her favorite endearment to-date) does not stand out in the crowd; unless, you notice her eyes. Her big, black twinkling eyes; they are so full of life; a testimony of her unending enthusiasm and zest for life.

Chinnu is not just a friend, but also a philosopher, a guide, a doting mother who handles her tantrums, a baby to her when she is done mommying, and very much an irritating sibling. Their personalities are poles apart, yet miraculously, they connect. One moment you will find them fighting like cats and the next moment they will be in their own goofy world.

Chinnu is her role model. In the short span that they have spent together, Chinnu has inducted her to many of life’s lessons, unknowingly. Chinnu taught her to enjoy life and “living the moment”. To value your loved ones, to treasure every moment with them, the power of one’s mind, the importance of ambition and goal setting are some of the lessons that she will never forget. Thanks to Chinnu, she now truly believes that it is not one’s aptitude but one’s attitude that determines which way one heads in life. Most importantly, Chinnu has acquainted her to the art of giving.

There was a time when they saw each other every single day, but now, being miles apart they have learnt to live with short phone conversations and replaying their memories….

THE LIONESS AND THE COW

The mother-in-law (MIL) – daughter-in-law (DIL) duo, make an interesting pair; they are poles apart yet they are very similar when it comes to some quirky things. The more I think about them, the more I feel that the MIL, is like a lioness; aggressive, outspoken and gregarious and the DIL like a cow; silent and submissive.

The chubby cow takes her own sweet time for doing things whereas the lean lioness is agile as ever. The cow relishes good food, and the lioness enjoys cooking over eating. “I can’t” is the cow’s favorite excuse. The lioness, on the other hand, believes that there is nothing that she cannot do. The lioness is an excellent manager but for the cow, management seems like an unnecessary chore. The timid cow prefers the beaten path where as the courageous lioness is open to new ways and things.

Each has survived a hard past and emerged strong from the experience. Both lead a simplistic life-style and are completely non-egotistical. Perseverance and determination are traits that they both display. Neither of them is the effusive, mushy kinds. Neither can handle shoes nor deal with the subtle humor that they are often subjected to. Their enthusiasm, energy and habit of keeping busy, always amazes the people around them.

Like typical MIL-DIL, they have had their differences, however, they have never let these differences shatter the peace of their home. I shudder to think of the way life would have been had they both been lionesses or both cows. Kudos to their teamwork! May they both live long and well…

LITTLE ANGELS

The Angels were visiting us; two, extremely adorable, lovable angels. These little angels were –

So energetic that their parents fall asleep trying to put them to sleep….

Generous enough to forgive me w/ a meek smile when I gobbled up their last chocolate chip cookie…Shrewd enough to divert the topic when I asked them to share their walkie-talkie password w/ me….

Young enough to enjoy an evening in the park or on the swing….Grown-up enough to ask me about my boyfriends…

Silly enough to believe in ghosts….Smart enough to figure out the TV channel that ran their favorite Cartoon Network, to always get a hold of my cell phone for their play, to convince me to turn on the computer for their games…

Naïve enough to believe in all my made-up stories…Smart enough to pick on my code language w/ their ma….

So peaceful when they slept…..So noisy during their waking hours that they made me blow off every few minutes….

Their presence seemed to shake our mundane life into action. I got some free lessons in anger management. Order to them, is boring, chaos, on the other hand, is a lot of fun. In the few days that I spent w/ them, I have learnt to let go. So what if somebody messes up your car radio settings; you can always re-tune. So what if there are food crumbs all over the place; cleaning isn't such a big deal. "Don’t sweat the small stuff", has been my mantra for the most of past week.

But just as these important lessons are beginning to sink in and I am getting used to the amplified decibel levels at home, they are GONE.

I am going to miss you darlings. Visit me soon!

CHILDRENS DAY

14th of November is celebrated as Children's Day all over India.....Let us try to make this world a better place for all these tiny tots ....and help them enjoy the carefree days of childhood....Herez a track by the band MLTR that I like - Sleeping Child

MOUNTAIN QUEEN

This was taken at a pit stop on our way to Kausani, Uttaranchal....The lady's costume and jewellery got me interested....we got talking.....she took out a beedi (cigarette) and started smoking as we were speaking.....I loved her look then....sitting erect, chatting and smoking a beedi nonchalantly....thats the image I wanted to capture...oh, well.....heres what I got....I am glad that it captures the details of her jewellery and attire....I also like the look on her boy's face.....a lost, dreamy look...(I offered him candy and thats what he is chewing on)

A LIFE OF HARDSHIP

This picture was taken during a trip to Konkan (coastal Maharashtra) early this year...What drew me towards these ladies was their walk...a steady rhythmic pace and peculiar crossing of the feet; like models walking the ramp....and I thought in my mind "boy, they could give the catwalk gals a run for their money!"....Some smiled shyly as I clicked their pictures...while some, like the duo in this picture seemed be saying......"this is the life of some!...while you pleasure cruise miles in your SUVs....we walk miles just to earn our daily meals.....this is our life; a life of hardship!".....I salute their will and hope life gets better for them...

THE MARS VENUS DIVIDE

It’s a rainy evening after a long day at work…
They get-together because they have been asked to….
Awkward silence follows the smiles and the small talk….
The party seems like a mundane chore….

The men slowly warm up after the drinks while the women weigh their options between the calories and the chips…..
Unconsciously they drift apart….
The men engage in shop talk while the women are engrossed in topics they feel are far better than shop-talk…
Dinner is served…. the men are unmindful….the women hurry and try to do justice by nibbling at it…
And so a party ends….

Truly men are from Mars and women are from Venus…

GAMES PEOPLE PLAY

Edited version of the original below. Courtesy Shyam

In this temple of God…some pray….for health…for wealth…for mental peace…some fool themselves by pretending to pray…..some decide to quit and just lie here…cursing fate or whatever…..while some heal each other by unloading their burdens off of each others shoulders……

NO SHY-GUY

A girl w/ a camera and wearing jeans is still a rare sight around there….kids giggle curiously and tag behind me…. some even ask my uncle who accompanies me if this is the girl they saw on TV! ;)….some who are shy watch silently from a distance, whispering something amongst each other…..but this kid is different…..he looks at me in the eye and is bold enough to ask questions…..

GUDDI

I wanted my cousin to pose for a couple of pictures, but somehow I was not able to get pictures the way I wanted. Suddenly Guddi came on the scene...she smiled shyly and stood there just the way I wanted w/ the right expressions....I hurriedly clicked some shots....and liked the way they turned out, esp. the B&W ones...here they are for you....Looking forward to your comments...

RETURN TO INNOCENCE

Kumaoni kids....aren't they chweet? :)

WHEN I SAW HER THERE….

Yesterday started off like every other day. I took my usual bus to work and was sitting by the window seat. It was a bright day and the air was cool, in fact the air coming through the window of the moving bus seemed a bit chilly. However, that was compensated by the warm rays of the sun that filtered through the window. I was listening to something on my walkman and idly gazing outside. People driving, a lone boat in the murky river, dwellers of the roadside slum getting on with their daily chores, some simply chatting and watching life zoom past; these scenes seemed like a familiar movie trailer.

My bus slowed and paused briefly at a small stop on the way and that is when I saw HER! Dark, short and plump with short cropped hair she was sitting on the bench at the bus stop staring blankly into space. Clad in a dirty looking saree and a full sleeved sweater, she appeared middle aged. Suddenly I happened to notice her hands and what I saw made me freeze. They were thin and shapely but appeared to have warts all over them. My gaze shifted to her face and that was no different. Her nose appeared flattened like a knocked off sand dune. I wanted to turn away and shut my eyes, but I could not and ended up staring. My bus moved and I sat there numbed by what I had seen, thoughts swarming in and out of my brain.

“Uff what an ugly face!! She should probably be wearing a burkha than showing it off!”

“Tch......what must have happened? Was that the manifestation of some disease or an unfortunate accident?”

“What kind of life must she be leading? Is she poor and homeless or able to support herself?”

“Does she have anybody who loves her, takes care of her or is she alone?”

“Is she dragging her days or has she come to terms with her deformity and the way the world sees it and treats her?”

“Wow!.....brave is she to continue to live! I would have probably killed myself…”

What started as disgust quickly turned to sympathy and ended up in admiration for the woman. May God bless her!